Content Creation Is Hard

I’ve always had issues with publishing personal content online. I don’t know if the oversharing campaign that was run during the advent of social media is just too ingrained into my mind, or if I just have anxiety about it.

I am someone with a lot of things to share, in topics ranging from computing, to music, sports, personal finance, current events, photo/videography, gaming, and normal life stuff, but for some reason it doesn’t feel right to me to produce content the way that many do.

The first thing I think about are the vlogs. One thing about me, I find selfies to be super cringe – outstretching your arm, framing the photo, putting on a cheap smile that doesn’t look nearly as good as you hope – I just find it really weird.

Now, imagine replacing your phone with a mirrorless camera. Now, imagine you’re in public, outstreching your arm holding a mirrorless camera, then talking to it. I get super self-conscious about things like that, which is why it’s hard for me to do the vlog thing.

I am significantly more comfortable with spoken-word content; tutorials, explanations, delivering facts. However, the moment impactful opinions are involved, I shy away once again. Even with talking head videos, I get self-conscious about; your word choice, how you look into the camera, are you staring too much? Do you look natural?

I’m not yet at the point where I’ve stopped caring about things. I have a full-time job and I’d like to continue my career with as few hiccups as possible, and being a content creator induces hiccup risk. As someone who perhaps identifies too much with work, I just wonder how people can afford to start creating quality content while working a job.

Partly due to my overthinking, I think about how creating content would affect my life once I’ve actually seen success; in the case of YouTube videos, I’d have to deal with the comments section, potential beef with other creators, and possibly, beef with other groups.

I’m just a rather private person.

However, I notice that there are some people who just love all aspects of this lifestyle; the drama, the attention, the stress.

Ultimately it feels like an ego thing.

It feels like people want to be seen. On this earth of 9+ billion people, individuals yearn for a way to stand out, to appear more important than others. I don’t even need to consider the whole world; even focusing on America, with a population of 330 million, the desire to stand out remains. As (in general) the most developed country in the world, it isn’t enough to merely enjoy the conveniences technology has brought us, we must find a way to differentiate ourselves, to develop a brand for ourselves.

My approach is more academic; to publish, there should be a novel contribution to the field. Of course, the real world isn’t like this. There is value in following the same procedure, executing the same steps as another available resource due to differing perspectives.

The term brand just evokes thoughts of corporate business within me; strategic marketing, crafting something in such a soulless, calculated manner that essentially removes all authenticity.

When it comes down to it, I really need to just grow the fuck up and start putting more stuff out there, which is what I’m trying to do here, but I do believe there’s a reason I have reservations about diving into this fully.